


I Am Not A Vampire

by handyhunter



Category: Astonishing X-Men, X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Sparklepires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-19
Updated: 2010-02-19
Packaged: 2017-10-07 09:28:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/63772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/handyhunter/pseuds/handyhunter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma Frost is <i>not</i> a sparkly vampire.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Am Not A Vampire

Emma dropped her head in her hands with a very Wolverine-like growl.

_Emma?_ Scott ventured.

"I am _not_ a vampire."

"Some would say otherwise," said Kitty, not bothering to lower her voice or hide her grin. It wasn't like she wasn't broadcasting her glee telepathically as it was. She slouched on the blue sofa the Danger Room decided to produce today, with Lockheed perched on the armrest. Peter sat next to her, looked back and forth between the two women and wisely said nothing.

"Of course not," said Scott out loud. Emma looked at him sharply to make sure he wasn't laughing too; if he found humour in this situation, he was hiding it well. He flipped through a few pages of the book Emma had confiscated from a student -- she had seven of them, actually, on his desk. "What _is_ this?"

"Inappropriate reading material," Emma snapped. If optic blasts had been a part of her mutation, she would have burned a hole through the books by now.

"In what way?"

Logan shrugged. "Thought we were havin' a team meeting, not a book discussion."

"I've heard tell," said Hank, from behind Scott's shoulder, reading along, "that these are the literary equivalent of a twinkie."

"Ah," Scott said, still not understanding Emma's ire. "Have you read them, then?"

"Only the first one," said Hank. "I'm afraid the rest of them have rather been spoiled." He stepped around the coffee table to sit in the armchair opposite Emma.

Scott shut the book. "I didn't think twinkies could spoil."

"A _twinkie_?" muttered Hisako, expressions of outrage and then amusement flickering over her face.

Emma fixed an icy stare upon the youngest member of the team. "Not _you_ too."

_What is going on? Ems?_

Hisako shrugged. "I didn't start those rumours."

"What rumours?" Scott tried again.

"That, uh, Ms. Frost is a vampire." Hisako was studying her fuzzy slippers intently, as if worried that looking at Emma would turn her to stone.

"What's that?" Logan was awake again. Emma sent him a quelling look.

Scott resisted the urge to start blasting people, gently, until they told him what was going on. "I'm afraid I don't follow," he said instead.

"That's a good thing, Summers," said Logan. "Are we goin' to talk about something else or can I start stabbing things now?"


End file.
